Sometimes they sugarcoat it...

Sometimes they just have to tell you like it is. It's scary, I am not "out of the woods." The woods may come back at any time & kill me. It's just not something I wanted to hear. I have been knocked to my knees often these last couple days. I know the Lord won't give me more than I can handle, but I find myself crying out "Please Lord, no more!"

My surgeon was not as pleasant as I was hoping for yesterday. I know he has a less-than-perfect bedside manner, but I have been told 20x over, that he is the best. He has had so much experience with these kind of wounds/infections. The face that 50% of his patients with necrotizing faciitis do not survive, has rocked me. If they (all of my Drs) are not aggressive enough, I may die. Usually it is the reoccurence of the infection that leaves them w/out any options, or hope. I have hope, lots of it, but I think I have put more trust in the Drs, than the Great Physician. I can honestly say, I am scared & I am leaning on Him more now than ever.

I want to see my kids grow up, see them all accept Jesus, grow old w/ my husband, love my family & my Jesus till the end of my days. I just don't want for those days to come so soon. Sorry for such a somber message, I don't like to make people cry, but I wanted to share a little bit of the grief that finds me a little depressed today. The fact that I am in bed, away from the girls, on only ibuprofen, just adds to it.

Don't worry, I'm not defeated, just a little distressed. Satan has been at my door, but I am not letting him in, not ever. Please don't think I am giving up or giving in, I am holding on to my hope, my faith, I will be healed. I am just learning an all new level of patience. Praise the Lord!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23 NIV

If you want to read more about MRSA or NF, here is a good link to articles, including the one linked above. Here is an article talking about how common MRSA infections are & how rare it is that it turns into NF.