Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sometimes they sugarcoat it...

Sometimes they just have to tell you like it is. It's scary, I am not "out of the woods." The woods may come back at any time & kill me. It's just not something I wanted to hear. I have been knocked to my knees often these last couple days. I know the Lord won't give me more than I can handle, but I find myself crying out "Please Lord, no more!"

My surgeon was not as pleasant as I was hoping for yesterday. I know he has a less-than-perfect bedside manner, but I have been told 20x over, that he is the best. He has had so much experience with these kind of wounds/infections. The face that 50% of his patients with necrotizing faciitis do not survive, has rocked me. If they (all of my Drs) are not aggressive enough, I may die. Usually it is the reoccurence of the infection that leaves them w/out any options, or hope. I have hope, lots of it, but I think I have put more trust in the Drs, than the Great Physician. I can honestly say, I am scared & I am leaning on Him more now than ever.

I want to see my kids grow up, see them all accept Jesus, grow old w/ my husband, love my family & my Jesus till the end of my days. I just don't want for those days to come so soon. Sorry for such a somber message, I don't like to make people cry, but I wanted to share a little bit of the grief that finds me a little depressed today. The fact that I am in bed, away from the girls, on only ibuprofen, just adds to it.

Don't worry, I'm not defeated, just a little distressed. Satan has been at my door, but I am not letting him in, not ever. Please don't think I am giving up or giving in, I am holding on to my hope, my faith, I will be healed. I am just learning an all new level of patience. Praise the Lord!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23 NIV

If you want to read more about MRSA or NF, here is a good link to articles, including the one linked above. Here is an article talking about how common MRSA infections are & how rare it is that it turns into NF.


DeAnn said...

We love you honey and you are in our thoughts and prayers daily. I know you will beat it. See, 50% DO Beat it, thats great odds!

The Coleman Chronicles said...

I firmly believe that you are on the road to recovery. The fact that you are at home and not in a hospital is always good news!! It may take awhile to get out of your system and remember that the article states it is rare for it to turn into the "bad stuff"--